4am

Just a little something I wrote in the early hours of a morning.

 

Some of the best things happen at 4am. Watching beautiful sunrises. Sometimes hanging out of attic windows in the nude. Sometimes down by the river with your friends on a cold New Year’s day. Sometimes with your girlfriend, hand in hand gazing over the docks. You might snuggle up in a dank spare room, happy to finally be alone as the buzz wears off. Maybe you are curling up sweaty and happy after a tinder hook up. Or perhaps drifting off peacefully in the arms of a girl you’ve been crushing on for months. Occasionally it’s on a river bank with friends as a summer storm rages on outside or in a noisy festival field, trying to ignore the smell of warm cider in the air. More often it’s on a random sofa after a long and blurry night, you might be resting your head on a stranger’s leg and using a smokey hoodie as a blanket but you’re comfortable and that’s all that matters. You could even be in a hotel room, sleepy after a wedding, relieved to be free from your heels. But most of the time you just got distracted, lost track of time. Well that’s what you tell yourself. Really you know that 4am is a magical time and you’d hate to miss it with sleep.

Toodles

A Salty Kiss

So hey, I got published a little while back which is pretty damn cool. A local publishers (Sea Post Press) run by some students from the English department at my uni decided to put together an anthology of third year work. We were all invited to submit work and I submitted several poems but really didn’t expect anything to come out of it.

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I was so surprised when I flicked open my copy of the finished book and saw my name on the content page! They chose to publish my poem “The Bible Woman”. I wrote this poem back in late 2016 for my writing for a digital age module. It was created by searching the word “woman” in an online copy of the bible and the putting a a list poem together based off of the search results.

I see it as both being a critical look at how women are presented in the bible as well as commentary on how no matter how women act they are always demonised in one way or another. You might take something totally different away from it and that is welcomed. So here is my poem that featured in the third year anthology; A Salty Kiss. 

The Bible Woman

Thou art a virtuous woman.
strange woman
rebellious woman
wise woman
beautiful woman
cursed woman
wicked woman
barren woman
evil woman
whorish woman
foolish woman
gracious woman
fair woman
brawling woman
angry woman
contentious woman
adulterous woman
odious woman
travailing woman
delicate woman
menstruous woman
removed woman
unmarried woman
free woman
what women
certain woman
this woman
every woman
all the woman

So yeah, my first ever published poem. I’m pretty damn proud of myself. I really hope now I’m done with uni I still manage to continue writing poetry and lyrics. I’m going to try, I need to keep  my creative juices flowing.

Toodles.

 

Adventure Is Out There!

I’m back!!! I know, I know; it’s been a bloody long time but I swear I’m back now and a hell of a lot has changed and loads more is on the horizon.

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So what has changed since we last spoke? Well for starters I’ve got a degree now! Well I haven’t actually had my gradation ceremony yet but I got my final grades back. I got a 2:2, ending up with 58% overall. Considering how crappy my mental health has been over these past few years I am amazed I made it through. So woo go me, I’m a Creative Writing graduate from Falmouth University.

While we are on the subject of university I also had a very busy February; I ran in the student union elections. I ran for the position of Community and Welfare President. Although I didn’t win (I came 3rd out of 7), I had the most amazing week. I met so many people and my confidence sky rocketed! It was such a hectic and busy week but I’m so glad I did it, the experience I gained from standing is something I am so grateful for. I also got to spend a lot of time with some of my best friends who helped out on my campaign team, so that’s a bonus. And any job interview I ever go to in the future will be a doddle compared to trying to win over thousands of students!

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Another thing; I’m polyamorous, woo! If you don’t know what polyamory is then here’s a little run down; basically polyamory is the practice of loving/having relationships with more than one person. There are so many different relationship structures that fit into polyamory and every polyamorous relationship is different, so I can only really speak from my experience. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend who are both dating me, but not dating each other, although they are very good friends. Both relationships are very different and I am so happy with how everything is going. The relationships are also both pretty open meaning we can all have sexual/romantic relationships and experiences outside of the relationship. Communication is key when it comes to polyamory. You need to keep a constant, healthy dialogue going to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy.

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Smaller change but I also shaved half my hair off. It just felt like time for a change, something bold. On Halloween I was out with some friends and I was talking about wanting to change my hair up and one of my friends suggested a Natalie Dormer style situation and boom, a few days later I marched into the hairdressers and got it done. I freaking love my hair like this. I was so worried I was going to regret it but I haven’t so far and it’s been over half a year.

I feel like this hair cut was what triggered all this change in my life. I know that sounds kinda silly but hear me out. This hair cut was such a bold move, something no one saw coming. It gave me some freedom from what was expected of me meaning I could do some soul searching and figure out who I truly was and what I wanted. It made me look at my life and see what changes needed to be made. Since getting this hair cut I have been taking less bullshit and instead living my life how I want.

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So what’s next? For now I’m mainly looking for a job and figuring what my living situation is going to be when my house contract ends in a month. I don’t really have a big grand plan. I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but I really fucking don’t! I’m applying for jobs that look interesting and pay well. After I leave my student house I’m gonna be doing some couch surfing between friends and family. It’s kinda scary not having a plan but I’m choosing to see it as an adventure and I’m sure some great writing inspiration will come from it. I’m feeling very much like the lost 20-something year old I am but it’s pretty exciting. For the first time in my life I don’t know where I’m heading next, I could do anything. It’s a strange mix of fear and wonder.

However now I’m done with uni I have so much free time to write on here. I have so many things I want to write about; bullet journaling, polyamory, surviving uni for example. I also want to document my time as a post-grad, figuring out my place in the world. I know a lot of people write about that but hey, everyone’s story is different. I also still have a bunch of work from my time at uni that I really want to share with you so look out for that.

I know this isn’t the first time I’ve abandoned this blog then come back with a big post but please stick with me! I promise there is much more coming up. I have so much I want to say and hopefully some people out there want to listen to me. I’m going to try to update the blog at least once a week but maybe more.

Thank you for reading this pretty self indulgent post and I hope you are having a fabulous day!

Toodles.