Love is Love But…

Pride Month has just finished in the US but London Pride was this past weekned and Cornwall Pride doesn’t happen until August! Because of this, all things LGBTQA+ have been all over social media which is great to see, at least in my little bubble, because it’s almost exclusively been positive. However there’s one thing that bothers me, and it’s been bothering me for a while now, the hashtag #loveislove.

14183783_1247646621935921_2301917523211616094_n

Now before you jump down my throat please hear me out. Of course I agree love is love! The love between me and my girlfriend is just as valid as any other love regardless of sexuality. Our love is beautiful and special and fun and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My problem with this popular hashtag is the focus on love. Love is all very well and good but what about when we aren’t in love? Do you respect us then?

Queer people deserve respect whether they are in a relationship or not. We shouldn’t have to fit into a cute little coupley box to be seen as humans. Our identity should be respected whether we are in relationships or single, happily or unhappily. When we are going through a messy break up or just having fun hooking up. When were are in open relationships or just not into relationships at all. Love is love but you should respect us regardless of our relationship status.

tumblr_oqaqicpJlN1u2kwfpo1_500

Oh and there is of course the issue that the hashtag kinda ignores gender identity completely by focusing on sexuality. This is of course problematic as trans and nonbinary peeps are a huge part of pride and deserve to feel included. It’s not really fair that the most prominent pride related hashtags focus on sexuality and relationships- eg: #loveislove, #lovewins and #loveishere.

I’m not asking for a boycott of this hashtag and other similar ones, rather some thoughtful consideration when using them. Why are you using it? Could something more inclusive and less love focused be used in it’s place?

I hope this blog post has made you think a little. Sending so much love to my fellow queer siblings, you are so strong and wonderful.

This blog post is an extension of a Facebook status I wrote on the day of London Pride, you can read the original post here

Toodles!

4am

Just a little something I wrote in the early hours of a morning.

 

Some of the best things happen at 4am. Watching beautiful sunrises. Sometimes hanging out of attic windows in the nude. Sometimes down by the river with your friends on a cold New Year’s day. Sometimes with your girlfriend, hand in hand gazing over the docks. You might snuggle up in a dank spare room, happy to finally be alone as the buzz wears off. Maybe you are curling up sweaty and happy after a tinder hook up. Or perhaps drifting off peacefully in the arms of a girl you’ve been crushing on for months. Occasionally it’s on a river bank with friends as a summer storm rages on outside or in a noisy festival field, trying to ignore the smell of warm cider in the air. More often it’s on a random sofa after a long and blurry night, you might be resting your head on a stranger’s leg and using a smokey hoodie as a blanket but you’re comfortable and that’s all that matters. You could even be in a hotel room, sleepy after a wedding, relieved to be free from your heels. But most of the time you just got distracted, lost track of time. Well that’s what you tell yourself. Really you know that 4am is a magical time and you’d hate to miss it with sleep.

Toodles