Fuck Flattering

13606845_1205402532826997_6122366109550508709_n.jpg

Hi, my names Emma and I really don’t give a fuck anymore about anyone’s opinions on my body or the way I dress. I spent years of my life lusting over sexy body-con dresses, sultry pencil skirts and summer crop tops. I sometimes tried them on but took one look in the mirror and ripped them straight back off again (carefully of course, I mean I’m not into destroying shop property). Even though I really liked the clothes and often loved how they made me feel I looked in the mirror and all I could see was my lumps and bumps. Those lumps and bumps that I had been told consistently though my life to hide away by the media. Being curvy was fine, as long as you knew how to dress your body aka as long as you knew how to cover up the parts of you that were offensive to western beauty ideals. But then this dress came along…

screenshot-2016-10-13-at-18-21-44

I was out shopping for new clothes to take with my to Download festival and I came across this dress in NewLook. There was pretty much nothing else I liked in the shop so I decided to take a chance and try it on. I was anxious- bodycon and stripes! Two of the things curvy girls are told to avoid like the plague. But I tried it on and I liked it. Actually I loved it. It was super comfy, I knew it wouldn’t fly up on the wind and most importantly I loved how my body looked in it. I stepped out into the corridor of the changing room so I could get a better look in the bigger mirror. For some unknown reason I asked another woman who just so happened to be in the changing room at the time what she thought of the dress and then came the dreaded words “I do like it but I honestly don’t think it’s very flattering on you”. I know the lady didn’t mean any harm and I did ask for her opinion but it still stung. Luckily I acted against what she said and went for it, I brought the goddamn dress and wore it to Download and felt bloody amazing.

screenshot-2016-10-13-at-18-21-12

And so my love affair with clingy clothes and my lumpy body began. I wear what I want when I want. I’m done with asking other peoples opinions. If I like it then that’s all that matters. Fuck flattering, fuck size appropriate, fuck too revealing, fuck too short, fuck too busy. And I never ever bother with shape wear. If you want to wear it then cool, you do you, but I am so fed up of this idea that we need to smooth out our lumps and bumps to be entitled to wear form fitting clothes. I’m done hiding my shape and I’m done caring what flatters it. As long as I’m comfortable and happy then that’s what matters. Who’s with me?!

13887079_1230868436947073_2563214283795712976_n

Toodles!

Reflection

1401548467577.1I took this selfie on Saturday- my first day of freedom after finishing my Fashion Marketing course. As I mentioned in this post I am transferring to English with Creative Writing in September. I realised that Fashion Marketing just wasn’t for me and I needed to follow my heart and do what made me happy.

I thought I would write a post looking back over my first year of uni. Although it was very tough at times and I had my moments where I felt like giving up I made it. I also had some amazing experiences and met some awesome people and I feel I need to appreciate those things more.

Tremough Quidditch Society has been a big part of my first year experience. This society is filled with the most fun, awesome and weirdest people you will ever meet. Every event I have been to has been an absolute blast! The committee is so dedicated to giving the society members the best expedience possible. I mean at our first proper event each and every one of the 100 or so members of the society were sorted into one of the Hogwarts houses! That’s a lot of sorting! We had other great events including potions class (aka cockails!), the yule ball and a massive end of year feast. I met some of wonderful people through this society including two of the people I am living with next year- Lowri and Sonera.

988377_686885414678714_730502099_n

The best part of this year for me has definitely been meeting wonderful people. When I first moved to campus I had to live in a shared room, not ideal. Basically at the start of the year they had too many applicants for rooms so we had to make do. My room mate was lovely, as were my flat mates, but I craved space! I had been sharing a room with my sister for years and really wanted my own space where I could just be me and live to my own crazy schedule with no interruptions!

Luckily for me after living there for 2 weeks I got an email from the accommodation team saying there were lots of single rooms available now so I could move! Yay! Although then I went into panic mode- moving again, into a flat with new people who had been getting to know each other for two weeks. Then came the light bulb moment- I remembered that my friend Sarah from Fashion Design had a spare room in her flat. So that’s how I came to be living with the fabulous O2 crew! Sarah, the Emilys, Simon, Victoria and Edmund welcomed me with open arms and I have never looked back. They are all so lovely, weird and hilarious! I am really going to miss living with them next year. From Emily B’s procrasta-baking to Edmund cooking up Chinese treats there was always someone in the kitchen to have a chat with. I really got lucky when I moved.

582053_742308055797610_2018132427_n

My course itself didn’t work out for me, I just wasn’t enjoying what we were doing. However through it I met some fab friends, although mainly on the Fashion Design course, not my own. The surfing trip at the start of the year really brought people together. I joined some of the non-surfers snuggled up on the deck, hiding from the freezing Cornish weather. Sheena, Levi, Rebecca and I talked fashion and funny stories over an issue of Vogue. We were later joined by Sarah (the wonderful person with the spare room) who had unfortunately stepped on a weaver fish. Remembering running around on that beach in the icey winds with Sheena and Levi will always make me laugh.

My course mates have been a wonderful bunch of girls, yep all girls. Apart from our Tutor Olie, the course is made up on 14 girls all in one pretty small room! There was always laughter coming from the Fashion Marketing suite. Although I wasn’t very close to any of them I really will miss seeing them every day. I hope they all do well and it will be interesting to see how the next 3 years pans out for them.

There has been loads of fun moments throughout the year- most of them have been outside of the classroom. The Pirate Party when I realised I love rum, The Freshers Ball with the rad VW camper van bar, the Halloween Party with creative costumes galore and The Snow Ball with crazy toxic snow, crackers flying everywhere and Santa hats for everybody!

79629adf-8232-4c39-a6e9-212173c2a39awallpaper

The main thing I have gained from my first year of Uni has been a new found independence and self confidence. I found the confidence to admit that I wasn’t happy and I had the power to change that. I am making a big life change and I couldn’t be happier. Although my first year wasn’t all sunshine and daisies I have no regrets. I have had some experiences that will stay with me forever and have met some kick ass people who I hope will become life long friends.

Here’s to next year!

Lemme take a Selfie

Selfies. Love them or hate them they are here to stay. There has now even been a god awful song written about them. Although the song massively offends my ears I can relate to it. My friend and I were out the other night and it came on in the club. We look at each other and laughed at how much the dialogue sounded like us. We take so many selfies in mirrors together when we go out. No toilet stop in wetherspoons is complete without a new photo gracing our Instagram accounts.

tumblr_n4qq7trAse1qliczno1_500Selfies are no new phenomenon however. Although the term was coined in 2002 artists have been painting self portraits throughout history. Frida Kahlo, Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Salvador Dali- they were all at it! Frida Kahlo once said “I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best”. I find it beautiful that by painting or photographing yourself you are drawing inspiration from inside.

tumblr_n4fzrkPlDc1qliczno1_500

The first first photographic “selfie” was taken by amateur photographer Robert Cornelius in 1839. Even back then people wanted to preserve their image through their own means. There’s something so strange about looking at a photo of your self. You never look quite how you imagine which can be quite magical but also unsettling.

Some people hate selfies saying they are self indulgent, which is true, they really are. However what’s wrong with a little bit or a whole barrel full of self indulgence? If someone has the confidence to put an image of themselves out there on the internet for everyone to see then they should be applauded not ridiculed. A selfie is true self expression. Not only are you the model, you are also the photographer, creative director, stylist, make-up artist- you are the whole package! Selfies can be an art form if you choose. They can be a visual diary, documenting your daily life. They can tell a story. They are memories. It gives people confidence to be themselves and to love themselves.

tumblr_n2p60utyKd1qliczno1_500

Since getting Instagram in September I have taken more selfies than ever before. Back in college for photography I did a self portraiture project. I found it a real struggle as I was nervous in front of the camera, even if I was the one behind the lens. It’s crazy to feel nervous in front of yourself. In the end I loved those images and they still remain some of my favourite images from my A level work. When I got Instagram I stared seeing selfies more and more. My friends were posting them, my idols were posting them, I couldn’t escape them. It took me a while to embrace them, I posted some but they were few and far between. Then one day I caught myself looking in the mirror and thinking- “I look good, I’m gonna instagram this!”. Now I do this all the time. At first I felt guilty for being so self indulgent and vain. But then it hit me- fuck it! In the words of Ru Paul- “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

tumblr_m31juuj4Db1ruwvago1_500

I say all hail the selfie! Anything that makes someone feel good about themselves and doesn’t put anyone down is a fabulous thing! I will leave you with this video by Laci Green. She sums up why she loves selfies and thinks they are great for body positivity.