Fuck Flattering

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Hi, my names Emma and I really don’t give a fuck anymore about anyone’s opinions on my body or the way I dress. I spent years of my life lusting over sexy body-con dresses, sultry pencil skirts and summer crop tops. I sometimes tried them on but took one look in the mirror and ripped them straight back off again (carefully of course, I mean I’m not into destroying shop property). Even though I really liked the clothes and often loved how they made me feel I looked in the mirror and all I could see was my lumps and bumps. Those lumps and bumps that I had been told consistently though my life to hide away by the media. Being curvy was fine, as long as you knew how to dress your body aka as long as you knew how to cover up the parts of you that were offensive to western beauty ideals. But then this dress came along…

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I was out shopping for new clothes to take with my to Download festival and I came across this dress in NewLook. There was pretty much nothing else I liked in the shop so I decided to take a chance and try it on. I was anxious- bodycon and stripes! Two of the things curvy girls are told to avoid like the plague. But I tried it on and I liked it. Actually I loved it. It was super comfy, I knew it wouldn’t fly up on the wind and most importantly I loved how my body looked in it. I stepped out into the corridor of the changing room so I could get a better look in the bigger mirror. For some unknown reason I asked another woman who just so happened to be in the changing room at the time what she thought of the dress and then came the dreaded words “I do like it but I honestly don’t think it’s very flattering on you”. I know the lady didn’t mean any harm and I did ask for her opinion but it still stung. Luckily I acted against what she said and went for it, I brought the goddamn dress and wore it to Download and felt bloody amazing.

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And so my love affair with clingy clothes and my lumpy body began. I wear what I want when I want. I’m done with asking other peoples opinions. If I like it then that’s all that matters. Fuck flattering, fuck size appropriate, fuck too revealing, fuck too short, fuck too busy. And I never ever bother with shape wear. If you want to wear it then cool, you do you, but I am so fed up of this idea that we need to smooth out our lumps and bumps to be entitled to wear form fitting clothes. I’m done hiding my shape and I’m done caring what flatters it. As long as I’m comfortable and happy then that’s what matters. Who’s with me?!

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Toodles!

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Things I Love Thursday

My weekly dose of gratitude, because it’s always important to take some time to reflect on the things you are grateful for in life be they big or small.

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❤ Having big salads for lunch in my massive heart shaped bowls. This one was baby gem lettuce, tomatoes, yellow pepper, pickles, mashed avocado drizzled with lemon juice.

❤ Shopping at Lidl. So much fab food at such great prices. I got like a monthly big shop for 2 including some fresh produce for like £30! Dude!

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❤ My new blue hair! It just felt like time for a change. I had had pink hair for 5 years and felt like shaking things up a bit. I’m embracing my mermaid vibes fully. Plus now I can cosplay as Chloe from Life Is Strange and that’s awesome.

❤ Boots in Truro having a NYX counter! So happy! I’m going to have to go on a wee NYX shoppig spree at some point.

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❤ The weather being good enough to have beach days. Me and Jen went to the beach on Tuesday and had a great time. I even went swimming in the sea for the first time in years. Clearly the mermaid inspired hair is affecting me!

❤ Pokemon Go. I know everyone is obsessed with this and I am no different. I love wandering around the town the know so well and seeing Pokemon pop up before my eyes. Me and my friend Beth went on a great Pokemon catching adventure today and it was so nice to see other people out in the sun playing the game too.

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❤ My day trip to Truro with Shannon yesterday. We had a great time browsing the shops and had a freaking delicious lunch at Archie Browns.

❤ Being experimental with cooking again. As I type this I am waiting for some sweet potato to cool to I can make sweet potato and kidney bean burgers for tea. Om nom nom.

❤ This!!! My inner emo is screaming with excitement!

Toodles.

Things I Love Thursday

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❤ Lush bath bombs

❤ Sunshine finally starting in England again

❤ Salads full of yummy colourful things

❤ The perfect oversized denim jacket I found in a charity shop

❤ My growing pin collection on my denim jacket

❤ Good post days

❤ Actually starting to feel better finally

❤ The Life Is Strange soundtrack

❤ Basil tofu

❤ Black salt

❤ Oli just being a general babe and looking after me

❤ Train journeys

❤ Soy chai lattes

Toodles!

Things I Love Thursday

Guess who’s back to the gratitude lists? Oh yes, that would be me. I haven’t been very good a writing these lately and this might actually be the first one of the year. But, I am back and ready to be grateful for the amazing things in my life because I know how much it improves my outlook.

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❤ My amazing new “Purrmaid” bedding from George at ASDA. I saw it online and was hoping I could find it in store and I luckily did. It was only £12 for a double set as well which I think is amazing. Its got a cute shell print on the other side which is a nice touch. It also matches my Bei Badgirl merkitty tattoos.

❤ My amazing friends and readers for being so supportive after I posted my post about my mental health struggles. Thank you so much everyone, it really means the world to me that you are all there for me, thinking of me and relating. I hope anyone out there struggling with similar difficulties knows they are not alone and we can fight through this.

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❤ The first hints of spring in the air. Spring is my favourite season and it is finally starting to peak through the clouds here in England. We have had a few weeks of flooding and ridiculously strong winds to it’s nice to see some hope in the weather. Flowers are starting to bloom and all the plants are looking leafier- yay!

❤ Veganaise!!! Veganaise it by far the best vegan mayo I have tasted yet. It’s so rich and creamy and thick. I cannot believe there’s no eggs in it. Seriously, even if you’re not vegan give this mayo a taste, you will be amazed. I purchased mine at Ethica in Plymouth. Yay for mayo without the cruelty.

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❤ Banana nice cream- basically blended frozen bananas. Somehow when you blend up chunks of frozen banana until smooth it creates this amazing soft serve icecream consistency. It’s so tasty and you can blend in things like peppermint extract, cocoa powder or cinnamon to give it some extra flavour. This was plain banana topped with chopped up date, Jordans strawberry cereal, flax seed, Graze cherries and berries and some Choc Shot. Om nom nom.

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❤ Finally treating myself to some Jeffree Star liquid lipsticks. In the photo I am wearing Prom Night but I also got I’m royalty which is an awesome purple that makes me feel like a Disney villain! These lipsticks are amazing, they go on so smoothly, dry quickly and last all day through eating, drinking and talking. And it’s not drying on the lips, what more could you ask for? I got mine from Cocktail Cosmetics for £14, they are so worth the price and arrived really quickly.

❤ My numerology reading with Momoko today. It was an amazing experience, I gained so much insight about my inner self and where I need to be heading in life. It gave me loads to think about and work on, I nearly ran out a pen taking notes! I feel like a whole new world of seeing has been opened up for me. I might write a longer post about this experience when I get my notes together. For now I will just totally recommend having a numerology reading to anyone.

That’s all for now folks, I’m gonna try to keep on top of this to lift my mood and keep on the path to positivity.

Toodles.

Things I Love Thursday

Welcome to another instalment of positivity! I’ve just finished uni for the term, yay, so I hope to be blogging a bit more often. I’m going to the Cornwall Vegan Festival on Saturday so expect a post about that sometime next week. I also might cobble together a post about the Harry Potter Society’s Yule Ball that happened on Monday if I can get any photos from someone as I somehow took none, oops. Anyway, bring on the Gratitude!

❤ I am so grateful for Sarah. She really helped me out and cheered me up on Saturday when plans changed. My anxiety really doesn’t like it when plans change especially if that change then leaves me alone. So Sarah stepped in and cheered me up and we had a lovely sleepover round hers. Thank you so much hunnie, I know you don’t always understand me but I’m glad you’re always there for me.

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❤ Days where your outfit is just on point and you feel amazing because of it. Last Friday the Pagan Society was hosting a presentation at uni and we decided to dress somewhat smart. I opted for something pretty simple by my standards combining a charity shop find pencil skirt with a beautiful turquoise top from Dorothy Perkins… and a shit ton of necklaces of course! I also wore my new ankle boots from Newlook which have a wee heel that clip-clops when I walk which always makes me smile and feel grown up.

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❤ My friends and family for being super understanding, supportive and open about my choice to become vegan. Saskia came to a vegan festival with me, Taylor messaged me the other day asking for non-meat sources of protein and Oli eats whatever I do and is even thinking about becoming vegan himself! Nana came to a veggie cafe with me the other day and is always tagging me in posts on Facebook linking to vegan recipes and Mum loves my vegan cakes and is getting in lots of vegan treats for Christmas. Even the little things me so much to me and of course to the animals.

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❤ This absolutely amazing illustration of me and Oli drawn by Valerie Doty- aka The Tiny Hobo. I love it so much! I looks just like us right down to the way I’m smiling really big and Oli has a wee little grin. Also check out Toby and Bob (the dinosaur and penguin) at the bottom! You can add pets to your commission and sadly me and Oli don’t have any pets yet so I asked if we could add our favourite toys (because we are totally cool adults). I would recommend her to anyone! Her style of art is just adorable, colourful and fun! I will for sure be ordering from her again in the future and can’t wait to find a place to display this beauty.

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❤ Spending time with Jenny at the lights switch on in town tonight. It was particularly pretty this year and Jenny vlogged the whole thing so I will share that with you when she uploads it to Youtube. The weather cheered up a bit and the choirs were great. The town was packed with people and it was really nice to have a yummy hot drink and browse around some shops and not one but two Christmas markets.

On a less cheerful note there was also a protest going on in town about the UK’s decision to bomb Syria. The protest was peaceful and had an amazing turn out. Me and Jenny watched it pass and showed our support. War is a horrible thing especially at this time of year and I hope the people of this country can convince our government to rethink their destructive plans. I am heartened to see how many people oppose this latest development which somewhat renews my faith in the country.

Peace and toodles.

Things I Love Thursday

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❤ Quality time with my Nana. We went to Truro last Friday and had so much fun. We did some shoe shopping, bought some Christmas presents and had lunch at Archie Browns. It was such a nice day. I think it’s so important to make time to chill with your loved ones. Planning on doing it again some time before Christmas, woo!

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❤ This beautiful rainbow of a salad from Swanpool Beach Cafe. It’s Moroccan style quinoa  with mixed leaves, humus and loads of yummy roasted seeds. It was one of the best salads ever, I’m so glad I gave quinoa another chance. Me and Oli had a really nice lunch at the beach. I love going to the beach in winter because you can watch all the happy dogs bounding around the sand and splashing in the sea.

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❤ Winter. I really like winter. I’m not keen on the rain we get a lot here in England but there’s a lot of thing I love about winter. I love snuggling up in scarves and jumpers, lie ins in warm beds on cold mornings, that crisp chill in the air, Christmas drinks at coffee shops, Christmas light switch ons, present buying trips. I could go on for ages!

Not a long list today but I am happy and grateful and that’s what matters. I’m inviting you all, once again, to comment 3 things you are grateful for this week in the comments section.

Toodles.

Things I Love Thursday

Hello everyone! I am feeling so super positive and amazing today! Don’t you just love it when you have days like that where everything is just so chill and falls into place and you just feel at peace. Anyway, I am going to do today’s gratitude list a little bit differently. I just finished watching Gala Darling on Periscope and she shared 5 specific things that she is grateful for today with us then asked us to comment our 5 things back. She read two of mine out which felt pretty rad. So I’m going to list my 5 things below then it would be a super way to spread some gratitude and positivity if you could all post 5 things you are grateful for in the comment section below. Try to be as specific as possible. Also you should totally check out Gala on Periscope, her chats are always so inspiring and magical. Right, on with the gratitude;

1- My new glittery red nail polish from Barry M. It’s limited edition and sadly I can’t find it online but I managed to get mine in a Superdrug in Camden so they are out there. It’s a beautiful shiny gelly polish with great coverage. It has small, subtle glitter pigments so goes on really smoothly and lasts really well. It makes me feel really sophisticated but fun at the same time. I love it!

2- Once again the new Pagan Society at my uni which I am the secretary for. We had our first event the other night which I sadly couldn’t attend but I hear it went well. We have 76 followers on the Facebook page so not that long until we hit 100! Gala thought this was really cool and progressive which made me smile.

3- Home made humus. Since getting my Nutribullet for my birthday I have been making this a lot. It makes such lovely smooth humus in seconds. I love making my own because it means I can make it super garlicy. It’s also cheaper than buying it and as I almost always have the ingredients in the house it means I can have it whenever I desire.

4- Planning my gluten free, vegan brownies for tomorrows charity vegan potluck I am attending in Truro. I’ve never baked anything gluten free before so I hope it comes out okay! I just wanted to be as inclusive as possibly so when I saw that quite a few people coming are intolerant to gluten I jumped on the opportunity to try something new. I’m quite nervous about going as I don’t really know anyone but it should be fun plus I’m going to get to try so much yummy food!

5- Having freshly dyed pink hair. Although it’s been over a week now it still makes me so happy when I look in the mirror and see a mass of vibrant locks. I’m super lazy so only do my pink dye once every 2-3 months and only bleach my roots every 6 months so when I do both it’s so awesome. I feel renewed and energised. Hot, bright pink is for sure my power colour.

Right, that’s my 5 now get commenting! I want to hear about all the awesome things both big and small that have been going on in your lives this week.

Toodles.

Things I Love Thursday

I’ve got that Thursday feeling!

❤ Finding cute little pieces of graffiti.

❤ Spending hours chatting to Mum about everything under the sun.

❤ Rewatching all of the Harry Potter movies with Oli. Currently we are nearly at the end of Goblet of Fire. I will never not love Harry Potter.

❤ Having a lovely lunch out with Amy and Jasmine on Tuesday. We had some really nice chats.

❤ Chilling at Nana’s for the past few days. I always love having a good natter with her and watching a bit of “Say Yes to the Dress” on Sky and discussing which dresses we like.

❤ My hair getting super long although this photo doesn’t really do it justice. When it straight/wet it comes about an inch below my bra strap. Wooo! I love having long hair.

❤ On a similar note I appear to be successfully growing my nails for like the first time ever. I have been a nibbler for as long as I can remember so I suddenly feel all grown up and glamorous with nice nails.

❤ Handing in my essay at the end of last week, such a load off my shoulders.

❤ Redoing my roots and my pink! I feel like myself again, woo! Pinkhead until the end. I have been dying my hair pink for almost 5 years now and I’m still not bored.

❤ Feeling some major witchy vibes from the season, my fashion and the new Pagan Society I am part of at uni! I am the secretary and I’m super excited about it. We are having our first Moot on Tuesday and I can’t wait.

❤ This super cute little witchy buddy Sarah painted on my face today.

❤ Halloween!!!! It’s my absolute favourite time of year! I love all of the skull themed things in shops and I can’t get enough of awesome pumpkin carvings. We went to the Eden Project today and there was this really cool spooky tent type thing and it was so magical! I will share some of my favourite photos from inside the tent below-

It’s been a pretty fun reading week so far… should probably do some reading now!

Toodles.

Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching

I was going back through my saved drafts on this blog and I came across one from about a year ago. There was no writing, just a link. A link that turns out to be one of the funniest clips of me ever from years ago:

My Crazy Kids Pt 1 - Emma

Yep, that’s little old me, 6 whole years ago! I love the enthusiasm, joy and just not-giving-a-fuck-nes I appear to have in this clip. I need to work on capturing that more in my everyday life. I need to just be myself and not get self concious about things. 15 year old Emma, thank you for inspiring present day 21 year old Emma, lets go kick life in the butt and have a silly old boogie while doing it!

Toodles.

I’d do it all again, I think you’re my best friend… Fall Out Boy at Wembley

So I made 14 year old Emma very happy the other day… I went to go see Fall Out Boy play live at Wembley Arena on the 12th of October! I went with Taylor and her sibling Emma (attack of the Emma’s, tee hee). It was such a big deal to me and I just have to share it with you. This is going to be a bit of a review/just me going on about how awesome the experience was.

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We got there a little bit later than intended so missed the first support act but we still managed to see both Matt and Kim and Professor Green. I didn’t think I had ever heard of Matt and Kim but turns out I was wrong and had watched the video for their song “Hey Now” recently and really enjoyed it. They are a really fun group that combines pop, pop-punk and dance with some dubstep vibes in a really awesome upbeat way. They had so much energy and really left an impression on me.

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Professor Green honestly isn’t really my cup of tea and I’m still slightly confused as to why Fall Out Boy chose him to be a support act. He did however perform the one song I really do like of his “Read all About it” which is usually sung with Emeli Sande. The singer in place of Emeli at this gig was amazing, she had such a powerful, soulful voice. The lights dimmed and everyone swayed their phones so the whole arena looked like it was full of stars. I will admit this was the first on many happy tears from me throughout the night.

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While Fall Out Boy were setting up music was being played over the sound system, as usually happens at gigs. Plenty of pop-punk classics had played and people kinda bobbed along however when “Uptown Funk” by Bruno Mars came on the crowd had a wee moment of awesome. Everyone started dancing and singing along and it was a pretty awesome moment of harmony, considering the band we had all come to see hadn’t even made an appearance yet.

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When Fall Out Boy hit the stage my heart did a happy flip. The first notes of “Sugar We’re Going Down” filled the arena and I felt like an emo teenager once again. It’s amazing how music can really take you back. I had painted my nails black that morning in anticipation for reliving those years. In my opinion, starting with “Sugar We’re Going Down” was the absolute perfect choice. It’s just so catchy, upbeat and to me just represents Fall Out Boys music wonderfully. Yeah it is a little bit old-school and sounds pretty different to their newer stuff but it was still a fabulous choice.

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The set had a nice mixture of music from most of their albums which was really nice. I was so pleased when they played “Hum Hallelujah” 2007’s “Infinity On High”. This was the first albums I ever owned of theirs, I remember I got it the same Christmas I got “The Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance. “Hum Hallelujah” has always been one of my favourite songs from the album and it sounded amazing live, especially with the crowd joining in on the repeated “Hallelujah” section giving it a really magical energy. After the gig when looking up the set list I realised this was the first time they had performed it live since 2013 making it extra special.

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Now for more tears in the shape of “The Kids Aren’t Alright”. This song always gets me, there’s just something about the lyrics and the arrangement and the way it builds that always makes me a bit of an emotional wreck. Pair that with singing along to the lyrics “and in the end I’d do it all again, I think you’re my best friend” while holding hands with your best friend of 10 years whilst watching your favourite band it all becomes a bit too much but in a good way.

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A song everyone was waiting for was “This Ain’t a Scene, it’s an Arms Race” and boy it didn’t disappoint. The energy from the band and the almost shouted bridge filled the room with passion. We all raised our fist in the air and mumbled those words in the way every Fall Out Boy fan has come to know and love. Despite being in the seated stalls and the back we all still stood up and had a little boogie because how can anyone resist.

Now on to the lovely two song acoustic set performed on a mini stage in the centre of the audience. The two songs they opted to perform this way were “Irresistible” and “Young Volcanoes”. Both worked amazingly well in this format. It was also nice to have them in amongst everyone, sharing that cosy feeling of all gathering around an acoustic guitar and having a sing song. As they were moving back to the main stage Andy Hurley treated us to an amazing 5 minute drum solo mash up including parts of the Game of Thrones theme tune! It was freaking epic! I have found a small clip of the solo on Youtube if you want to see the awesomeness for yourself.

The title track for their most recent album “American Beauty/American Psycho went down well. It’s a pretty dancey, rebellious, chanting song which makes it an instant hit and crowd pleaser. A few songs later they played “Uma Thurman”, another track from that album and another great song to dance to, especially if you are dancing like the lady herself. Pete Wentz introduced the song in a wonderfully heart warming way- he told us about how often people tell them how their music has helped them lose weight or get through a break up or even saved their lives. He told us that that’s not the case- we did those things, the music may have helped but we were strong and we got through it and we should never forget that. He said that we all have that moment when we realise we can move mountains; which segwayed nicely into the song’s opening lyrics. Thank you Pete and all of Fall Out Boy for helping me become the person who I am today and helping me find that strength within.

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The song I had been waiting for was “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs and as soon as I saw the backdrop change to the lit up “FOB” and red velvet curtains I knew that moment had come. “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” was the song that really got me into Fall Out Boy. There was a period when I was really into the Kerrang TV channel and this was always on. Since then it has taken on many meanings and is probably my favourite breakup song ever.

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The final song before the inevitable encore was “Centuries” which is possibly the most epic song from “American Beauty/American Psycho”, I mean with the lyrics “Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold, but you will remember me, remember me for centuries” how could it not be?! A perfect song to end a concert with… although as we all know it’s not the last song.

The encore consisted of “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (light em up)” and “Saturday”. “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” will always excite me, and most Fall Out Boy fans as it was the first song they released when they came of of their seemingly never ending hiatus a few years ago. The sing along “ohs” in the song make it another great song for a live concert. They ended in traditional Fall Out Boy manner playing their old favourite “Saturday”. I love this song, but then again I love every song they have ever released, so for me it was a good ending point. It’s also a bit more of a mellow song so is a great way to calm down a bit before heading out back into the real world.

And that’s that! Sorry if it went on a bit! I made a playlist of the set if anyone wants to give it a listen and pretend they were there. I hope you enjoyed this, let me know if you like Fall Out Boy, were there or have seen or will see them soon!

(Most of the wonderful and somewhat blurry photos courtesy of Taylor Craigie, thanks babe!)

Toodles.