Love is Love But…

Pride Month has just finished in the US but London Pride was this past weekned and Cornwall Pride doesn’t happen until August! Because of this, all things LGBTQA+ have been all over social media which is great to see, at least in my little bubble, because it’s almost exclusively been positive. However there’s one thing that bothers me, and it’s been bothering me for a while now, the hashtag #loveislove.

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Now before you jump down my throat please hear me out. Of course I agree love is love! The love between me and my girlfriend is just as valid as any other love regardless of sexuality. Our love is beautiful and special and fun and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My problem with this popular hashtag is the focus on love. Love is all very well and good but what about when we aren’t in love? Do you respect us then?

Queer people deserve respect whether they are in a relationship or not. We shouldn’t have to fit into a cute little coupley box to be seen as humans. Our identity should be respected whether we are in relationships or single, happily or unhappily. When we are going through a messy break up or just having fun hooking up. When were are in open relationships or just not into relationships at all. Love is love but you should respect us regardless of our relationship status.

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Oh and there is of course the issue that the hashtag kinda ignores gender identity completely by focusing on sexuality. This is of course problematic as trans and nonbinary peeps are a huge part of pride and deserve to feel included. It’s not really fair that the most prominent pride related hashtags focus on sexuality and relationships- eg: #loveislove, #lovewins and #loveishere.

I’m not asking for a boycott of this hashtag and other similar ones, rather some thoughtful consideration when using them. Why are you using it? Could something more inclusive and less love focused be used in it’s place?

I hope this blog post has made you think a little. Sending so much love to my fellow queer siblings, you are so strong and wonderful.

This blog post is an extension of a Facebook status I wrote on the day of London Pride, you can read the original post here. 

Toodles!

Adventure Is Out There!

I’m back!!! I know, I know; it’s been a bloody long time but I swear I’m back now and a hell of a lot has changed and loads more is on the horizon.

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So what has changed since we last spoke? Well for starters I’ve got a degree now! Well I haven’t actually had my gradation ceremony yet but I got my final grades back. I got a 2:2, ending up with 58% overall. Considering how crappy my mental health has been over these past few years I am amazed I made it through. So woo go me, I’m a Creative Writing graduate from Falmouth University.

While we are on the subject of university I also had a very busy February; I ran in the student union elections. I ran for the position of Community and Welfare President. Although I didn’t win (I came 3rd out of 7), I had the most amazing week. I met so many people and my confidence sky rocketed! It was such a hectic and busy week but I’m so glad I did it, the experience I gained from standing is something I am so grateful for. I also got to spend a lot of time with some of my best friends who helped out on my campaign team, so that’s a bonus. And any job interview I ever go to in the future will be a doddle compared to trying to win over thousands of students!

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Another thing; I’m polyamorous, woo! If you don’t know what polyamory is then here’s a little run down; basically polyamory is the practice of loving/having relationships with more than one person. There are so many different relationship structures that fit into polyamory and every polyamorous relationship is different, so I can only really speak from my experience. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend who are both dating me, but not dating each other, although they are very good friends. Both relationships are very different and I am so happy with how everything is going. The relationships are also both pretty open meaning we can all have sexual/romantic relationships and experiences outside of the relationship. Communication is key when it comes to polyamory. You need to keep a constant, healthy dialogue going to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy.

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Smaller change but I also shaved half my hair off. It just felt like time for a change, something bold. On Halloween I was out with some friends and I was talking about wanting to change my hair up and one of my friends suggested a Natalie Dormer style situation and boom, a few days later I marched into the hairdressers and got it done. I freaking love my hair like this. I was so worried I was going to regret it but I haven’t so far and it’s been over half a year.

I feel like this hair cut was what triggered all this change in my life. I know that sounds kinda silly but hear me out. This hair cut was such a bold move, something no one saw coming. It gave me some freedom from what was expected of me meaning I could do some soul searching and figure out who I truly was and what I wanted. It made me look at my life and see what changes needed to be made. Since getting this hair cut I have been taking less bullshit and instead living my life how I want.

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So what’s next? For now I’m mainly looking for a job and figuring what my living situation is going to be when my house contract ends in a month. I don’t really have a big grand plan. I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but I really fucking don’t! I’m applying for jobs that look interesting and pay well. After I leave my student house I’m gonna be doing some couch surfing between friends and family. It’s kinda scary not having a plan but I’m choosing to see it as an adventure and I’m sure some great writing inspiration will come from it. I’m feeling very much like the lost 20-something year old I am but it’s pretty exciting. For the first time in my life I don’t know where I’m heading next, I could do anything. It’s a strange mix of fear and wonder.

However now I’m done with uni I have so much free time to write on here. I have so many things I want to write about; bullet journaling, polyamory, surviving uni for example. I also want to document my time as a post-grad, figuring out my place in the world. I know a lot of people write about that but hey, everyone’s story is different. I also still have a bunch of work from my time at uni that I really want to share with you so look out for that.

I know this isn’t the first time I’ve abandoned this blog then come back with a big post but please stick with me! I promise there is much more coming up. I have so much I want to say and hopefully some people out there want to listen to me. I’m going to try to update the blog at least once a week but maybe more.

Thank you for reading this pretty self indulgent post and I hope you are having a fabulous day!

Toodles.