Adventure Is Out There!

I’m back!!! I know, I know; it’s been a bloody long time but I swear I’m back now and a hell of a lot has changed and loads more is on the horizon.

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So what has changed since we last spoke? Well for starters I’ve got a degree now! Well I haven’t actually had my gradation ceremony yet but I got my final grades back. I got a 2:2, ending up with 58% overall. Considering how crappy my mental health has been over these past few years I am amazed I made it through. So woo go me, I’m a Creative Writing graduate from Falmouth University.

While we are on the subject of university I also had a very busy February; I ran in the student union elections. I ran for the position of Community and Welfare President. Although I didn’t win (I came 3rd out of 7), I had the most amazing week. I met so many people and my confidence sky rocketed! It was such a hectic and busy week but I’m so glad I did it, the experience I gained from standing is something I am so grateful for. I also got to spend a lot of time with some of my best friends who helped out on my campaign team, so that’s a bonus. And any job interview I ever go to in the future will be a doddle compared to trying to win over thousands of students!

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Another thing; I’m polyamorous, woo! If you don’t know what polyamory is then here’s a little run down; basically polyamory is the practice of loving/having relationships with more than one person. There are so many different relationship structures that fit into polyamory and every polyamorous relationship is different, so I can only really speak from my experience. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend who are both dating me, but not dating each other, although they are very good friends. Both relationships are very different and I am so happy with how everything is going. The relationships are also both pretty open meaning we can all have sexual/romantic relationships and experiences outside of the relationship. Communication is key when it comes to polyamory. You need to keep a constant, healthy dialogue going to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy.

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Smaller change but I also shaved half my hair off. It just felt like time for a change, something bold. On Halloween I was out with some friends and I was talking about wanting to change my hair up and one of my friends suggested a Natalie Dormer style situation and boom, a few days later I marched into the hairdressers and got it done. I freaking love my hair like this. I was so worried I was going to regret it but I haven’t so far and it’s been over half a year.

I feel like this hair cut was what triggered all this change in my life. I know that sounds kinda silly but hear me out. This hair cut was such a bold move, something no one saw coming. It gave me some freedom from what was expected of me meaning I could do some soul searching and figure out who I truly was and what I wanted. It made me look at my life and see what changes needed to be made. Since getting this hair cut I have been taking less bullshit and instead living my life how I want.

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So what’s next? For now I’m mainly looking for a job and figuring what my living situation is going to be when my house contract ends in a month. I don’t really have a big grand plan. I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but I really fucking don’t! I’m applying for jobs that look interesting and pay well. After I leave my student house I’m gonna be doing some couch surfing between friends and family. It’s kinda scary not having a plan but I’m choosing to see it as an adventure and I’m sure some great writing inspiration will come from it. I’m feeling very much like the lost 20-something year old I am but it’s pretty exciting. For the first time in my life I don’t know where I’m heading next, I could do anything. It’s a strange mix of fear and wonder.

However now I’m done with uni I have so much free time to write on here. I have so many things I want to write about; bullet journaling, polyamory, surviving uni for example. I also want to document my time as a post-grad, figuring out my place in the world. I know a lot of people write about that but hey, everyone’s story is different. I also still have a bunch of work from my time at uni that I really want to share with you so look out for that.

I know this isn’t the first time I’ve abandoned this blog then come back with a big post but please stick with me! I promise there is much more coming up. I have so much I want to say and hopefully some people out there want to listen to me. I’m going to try to update the blog at least once a week but maybe more.

Thank you for reading this pretty self indulgent post and I hope you are having a fabulous day!

Toodles.

Time To Get My Shit Together

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Time for yet more honesty and opening up from this chick. Things are still pretty tough right now. I’m still struggling with uni, social situations are still tricky and there are still days where I can’t even get out of bed. But I can see improvements. I’m only having to apply for an extended deadline for one essay. I just got a first on a presentation in class. I’ve been out with friends a lot more. I just went away for the weekend to Bristol for a meetup. I am trying and it is working. I’m an impatient person and I wanted things to be better just like that but the realist in me knows that’s not how things work. There’s no magic wand that can fix my mental health. But there is medication, therapy, friends, family, eating well, positive thoughts and actions. I might never be free of this but a mixture of those things sure will help.

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It’s coming up to summer break now and I want to work on making more positive life changes so that third year will be the best yet. I’m a typical Virgo so I love making lists so here’s a list of things I want to do over the summer that I think will vastly improve my state of mind:

❤ Read at least 3 books– I have been having massive problems with concentration lately and I used to be such a book worm so I think working on getting back into reading will really help this.

❤ Have the house tidy AF– My part of the house is embarrassingly messy. I put this down to my depression and my general messy habits. But enough is enough. I am fed up of this and I am going to make this place organised and spotless!

❤ Sort out my clothes– My style has taken a bit of a U-turn lately and I have brought a lot of clothes to go with that… most of which are living in a suitcase cause my wardrobe is full. I need to let go of things that don’t fit and things that don’t make me feel fabulous as hell.

❤ Get back into blogging– Hey I’m making a good start on this already! I’m not going to set myself any massive goals but if I’m blogging at least once a week I will be happy. I have a whole list of things I want to write about so hopefully that will keep me going.

❤ Sort out my sleeping pattern– because going to bed at 3am every night really fucks with my head.

❤ Practice my spirituality more– I have a new, beautiful pack of oracle cards I brought over a month ago that I still haven’t touched. I need to get back in touch with the earth and my soul.

❤ Stop biting my nails– I did achieve this goal for a while, then things got stressful again. I want to get to a point where my nails are so nice I wouldn’t even dream of ruining them.

 

So there we go. This summer I’m gonna get my shit together. I’m not saying I’m going to be all better and hunky dory but I am determined to get myself in a better head space than the one I’m in now.

Thank you for bearing with me!

Toodles!

 

An Update

You may have noticed that I have been a little bit quiet lately and I’m here to tell you why. After all of my shenanigans in all corners of the UK over the past few weeks I came home not to relax but to start my new job. It’s only a part time summer cleaning job but boy is it tiring! After being out of the employment game for a while my body and mind needs a little adjustment period. Currently after a day at work all I want to do is sleep, or maybe see my friends if I have plans but then sleep for sure. I’m working on getting my sleeping habits better so I am not so tired and will have the time and energy to get back to writing regular posts. I am half way through writing my Download review so hopefully I can finish that this week and I need to get back on the Things I Love Thursday bandwagon so that should be coming. I will get this organised and I will back to my blogging self soon enough.

Toodles.

Reflection

1401548467577.1I took this selfie on Saturday- my first day of freedom after finishing my Fashion Marketing course. As I mentioned in this post I am transferring to English with Creative Writing in September. I realised that Fashion Marketing just wasn’t for me and I needed to follow my heart and do what made me happy.

I thought I would write a post looking back over my first year of uni. Although it was very tough at times and I had my moments where I felt like giving up I made it. I also had some amazing experiences and met some awesome people and I feel I need to appreciate those things more.

Tremough Quidditch Society has been a big part of my first year experience. This society is filled with the most fun, awesome and weirdest people you will ever meet. Every event I have been to has been an absolute blast! The committee is so dedicated to giving the society members the best expedience possible. I mean at our first proper event each and every one of the 100 or so members of the society were sorted into one of the Hogwarts houses! That’s a lot of sorting! We had other great events including potions class (aka cockails!), the yule ball and a massive end of year feast. I met some of wonderful people through this society including two of the people I am living with next year- Lowri and Sonera.

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The best part of this year for me has definitely been meeting wonderful people. When I first moved to campus I had to live in a shared room, not ideal. Basically at the start of the year they had too many applicants for rooms so we had to make do. My room mate was lovely, as were my flat mates, but I craved space! I had been sharing a room with my sister for years and really wanted my own space where I could just be me and live to my own crazy schedule with no interruptions!

Luckily for me after living there for 2 weeks I got an email from the accommodation team saying there were lots of single rooms available now so I could move! Yay! Although then I went into panic mode- moving again, into a flat with new people who had been getting to know each other for two weeks. Then came the light bulb moment- I remembered that my friend Sarah from Fashion Design had a spare room in her flat. So that’s how I came to be living with the fabulous O2 crew! Sarah, the Emilys, Simon, Victoria and Edmund welcomed me with open arms and I have never looked back. They are all so lovely, weird and hilarious! I am really going to miss living with them next year. From Emily B’s procrasta-baking to Edmund cooking up Chinese treats there was always someone in the kitchen to have a chat with. I really got lucky when I moved.

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My course itself didn’t work out for me, I just wasn’t enjoying what we were doing. However through it I met some fab friends, although mainly on the Fashion Design course, not my own. The surfing trip at the start of the year really brought people together. I joined some of the non-surfers snuggled up on the deck, hiding from the freezing Cornish weather. Sheena, Levi, Rebecca and I talked fashion and funny stories over an issue of Vogue. We were later joined by Sarah (the wonderful person with the spare room) who had unfortunately stepped on a weaver fish. Remembering running around on that beach in the icey winds with Sheena and Levi will always make me laugh.

My course mates have been a wonderful bunch of girls, yep all girls. Apart from our Tutor Olie, the course is made up on 14 girls all in one pretty small room! There was always laughter coming from the Fashion Marketing suite. Although I wasn’t very close to any of them I really will miss seeing them every day. I hope they all do well and it will be interesting to see how the next 3 years pans out for them.

There has been loads of fun moments throughout the year- most of them have been outside of the classroom. The Pirate Party when I realised I love rum, The Freshers Ball with the rad VW camper van bar, the Halloween Party with creative costumes galore and The Snow Ball with crazy toxic snow, crackers flying everywhere and Santa hats for everybody!

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The main thing I have gained from my first year of Uni has been a new found independence and self confidence. I found the confidence to admit that I wasn’t happy and I had the power to change that. I am making a big life change and I couldn’t be happier. Although my first year wasn’t all sunshine and daisies I have no regrets. I have had some experiences that will stay with me forever and have met some kick ass people who I hope will become life long friends.

Here’s to next year!

Life Update

You may remember way back in my very first post I wrote about being in an odd place and feeling a bit lost? Well finally I feel like I am moving out of that place and back into the glittery light! I only have a few weeks left of uni, with 2 hand ins and helping out with the graduate fashion show tomorrow. Finishing this year is a big deal for me as I am going to be changing course September! It was a really big decision for me to make and has been in the works for some time now. I just haven’t been feeling inspired by my course, my heart hasn’t been in it 100% from the word go if I’m honest with myself. I am transferring to English with Creative Writing- check it out, it looks amazing! English was always one of my best subjects at school and as this blog proves, I still love writing!

So that’s a pretty massive change for me but on top of that I am moving in with my boyfriend in July. Woah, big step I know. It’s not just going to be us though. Its a massive house with a self contained flat on the ground floor. Me and Oli will be living in the flat and 3 of my fabulous friends, Sonera, Lowri and Sherrie, will be living in the main part of the house. Very exciting. We will be near the beaches, town and the train station so hopefully lots of exploring will happen! I am really looking forward to living with Oli. I will have a permanent cuddle buddy, someone to catch spiders for me, someone to always order pizza with… I will stop now because this list could go on forever. We spend most of our time together now so this feels right.

I have also applied for two jobs recently so I might finally have a job again. I really miss working and having money for tattoos! I used to work in the most amazing shop but sadly it had to close about this time last year. Fingers crossed on the job front.

Anyhoodles. sorry if that was a bit of a ramble. I had a lot I wanted to share with you!